In Aotearoa New Zealand, thousands of boys grow up without a father figure in their lives. For many, this absence can lead to emotional challenges, a lack of confidence, and difficulty forming strong relationships. That’s where Big Buddy steps in — a trusted youth mentoring programme that connects boys aged 7 to 17 with positive male role models who show up, spend time, and make a lasting difference.
The Power of Connection
At its heart, one-to-one youth mentoring is about connection. Through consistent, caring relationships, boys gain:
- Confidence and self-worth
- Emotional resilience
- A sense of belonging and hope
“He came home happier and more confident. I haven’t seen him smile like that in a long time.” – Little Buddy Caregiver
Big Buddy’s Group Programme for teenage boys aged 14–17 has shown remarkable results:
- 100% of participants felt happier and more confident
- 88% felt calmer and more connected
- 100% said they developed new skills
Mentoring Helps Mentors Too
“You come into this expecting to give to others, but little do you realise just how much you get back.” – Eugene (Big Buddy Auckland)
Mentoring isn’t just good for the boys — it’s highly rewarding for the men who volunteer. Research and testimonials show that mentors experience:
- Greater emotional fulfilment
- Improved mental wellbeing
- A stronger sense of purpose and belonging
Supporting Mothers and Caregivers: The Hidden Impact of Mentoring
Behind every Little Buddy is a mother, grandmother, aunty, or caregiver who has carried the emotional weight of raising a boy without a father figure. These women do an incredible job — but many describe feeling stretched, isolated, and deeply concerned about their son’s emotional wellbeing.
Big Buddy offers more than support for boys — it offers relief, reassurance, and emotional healing for caregivers too.
How Mentoring Supports Caregivers’ Mental Health
Research and testimonials show that mentoring programmes like Big Buddy help caregivers by:
- Reducing emotional stress: Knowing their son has a trusted male role model eases anxiety and guilt.
- Improving family dynamics: Boys who feel supported are more confident, communicative, and emotionally regulated — which improves relationships at home.
- Creating space for self-care: Caregivers often feel they must “do it all.” Mentoring gives them breathing room and emotional support.
- Providing hope and reassurance: Seeing the young boy/man under their care thrive with a mentor restores caregivers’ sense of hope and confidence in the future.
The New Zealand Carers’ Strategy also highlights that caregivers often face isolation, emotional exhaustion, and mental health challenges — and that support systems like mentoring can help restore balance and wellbeing.
Real-Life Impact: Alice’s Story
Wellington mum Alice Cai was raising four children alone after her marriage broke down. Her eldest son, Boshu, had become withdrawn and anxious. Alice was overwhelmed and near rock bottom when a social worker suggested Big Buddy.
“I can always be a mum, but I can never be a father figure,” Alice said. “Boys interact with men differently. Having a man believe in them, and tell them, ‘You can do it’, builds their confidence.”
After being matched with his Big Buddy, Boshu began smiling, trying new things, and thriving. For Alice, the change was life-changing — not just for her son, but for her own mental wellbeing.
Evidence from across Aotearoa
- Studies from the NZ Youth Mentoring Network and universities across New Zealand confirm the benefits of youth mentoring:
- Mentoring improves mental health outcomes for both mentees and mentors
- It fosters resilience, self-regulation, and relational competence
- Programmes like Big Buddy are especially impactful for boys facing emotional or behavioural challenges
Double the Impact for Mental Health
Youth mentoring in New Zealand is more than just a programme — it’s a lifeline with a double impact. For boys growing up without a father figure, having a Big Buddy can be life-changing. It’s often the first time they experience someone showing up just because they care. And for mentors, it’s a powerful opportunity to give back, grow personally, and rediscover the joy of seeing the world through the eyes of a boy who’s learning to trust that he matters.
This Mental Health Awareness Week, let’s celebrate the healing power of connection. Let’s celebrate Big Buddy.
