When Mary* first opened her home to two small boys, she was already carrying grief.
Her own mother — someone she had been caring for — had recently passed away from cancer. And yet, even in the middle of loss, Mary stepped forward again. This time, to raise two little boys who needed stability, safety and love.
“They were just babies — not even two,” she recalls.
Custody was finalised, with 24/7 guardianship. There would be no moving back and forward. Mary knew what these boys needed most was consistency — something they hadn’t experienced before.
Now in her 70s, Mary has spent more than a decade raising the brothers — Jayden* and Noah* — as her own.
“It’s been a rollercoaster,” she says. “Love, loss, diagnoses, tantrums and triumphs.”
But for most of their childhood, something was missing.
“There were no men in their world,” Mary explains. “Their teachers were women, the principal was a woman, their social worker was a woman — and then there was me.”
Mary gave them everything she could. But she also knew there were some things she couldn’t provide.
“Only a man can teach a boy how to be a man,” she says simply. “I couldn’t do that — I’m a woman.”
When Everything Changed
That’s when Mary discovered Big Buddy — a mentoring programme that matches boys aged 7–14 without fathers in their lives with positive male role models.
It was a turning point.
Through the programme, Jayden was matched with Michael*, and Noah with James*.
At first, the matches were simple. Walks. Kicking a football. Trips to the movies.
“It’s not about what they do,” Mary says. “It’s about that one-on-one time with someone who’s there just for them.”
But what started small quickly became something much bigger.
Showing Up, Week After Week
Jayden had struggled with anxiety and emotional outbursts. Sometimes that meant lashing out. Saying hurtful things. Pushing people away.
But Michael stayed.
“Michael just gets him,” says Mary. “He doesn’t take it personally. He doesn’t judge. He just keeps showing up.”
That consistency has changed everything.
“Sometimes Michael will be on the phone with Jayden for half an hour, just chatting,” she says. “He hugs him. And Jayden will say, ‘I love you so much, Michael.’”
And Mary knows it’s real.
“He believes Michael loves him — and he’s right. He does.”
For Noah, who is quieter but prone to emotional storms, James has become a calm and steady presence.
“He’s patient,” Mary says. “He’s seen the tantrums, but he handles them gently. Noah trusts him.”
The Power of Positive Male Role Models
Both mentors bring something Mary couldn’t provide on her own — a male perspective, delivered with both firmness and care.
“They don’t take any nonsense,” she says. “But they also explain things. That’s been really important for the boys.”
Over time, those lessons have started to stick.
The boys, now 13, are still growing — still learning — but there has been a clear shift.
There’s less explosive behaviour. More understanding. More trust.
Before Big Buddy, Mary admits she was scared.
“Jayden was getting close to being expelled from school. His behaviour was out of control,” she says. “I couldn’t do it alone.”
Big Buddy didn’t just support the boys — it supported Mary too.
“It’s a relief, honestly,” she says. “I finally have someone who understands what the boys are going through.”
She values the check-ins just as much as the outings.
“They’ll ask how things are going at home. That means the world.”
And sometimes, the impact is felt in the quieter moments.
“It’s great to have a bit of time out from the chatter,” she laughs. “From the moment they wake up until they fall asleep — it’s constant. So having some ‘me’ time, and knowing they’re with someone who cares… that’s huge.”
Looking Ahead
The boys are teenagers now — taller than Mary — but the need for guidance hasn’t gone away.
Friendships, emotions, boundaries… these are still things they are learning to navigate.
But now, they don’t have to figure it out alone.
“If Big Buddy hadn’t happened,” Mary says, “the boys would have missed out big time.”
“They’re learning what men are about. How to behave. How to treat others.”
She pauses, then adds:
“They’ve shown them what being a good man looks like.”
A Call to Men to Step Forward
Mary hopes her story will encourage more men to step forward.
“Our boys need positive male figures,” she says. “One day they’ll be in relationships, in jobs, in the community. They need guidance to understand what’s expected of them.”
For her family, that guidance changed everything.
And for another boy still waiting — it could change everything too.
👉 Become a Big Buddy and help shape a boy’s future.
*names changed for privacy
